What if I woke up and had boobs....

Your Name

Every once and a while I go see a movie that while I didn’t want to see it, I felt a ping of recognition and a pull towards the movie. Maybe as though called out to by fate or whatever runs the universe (who I’d like to talk to about a certain red haired girl) that makes a movie stick in my noggin until I break down and see it. Honestly I planned on writing a long review of Fate of The Furious which I saw last night but Your Name is one of those rare movies that can move me emotionally and interest me with it’s content. From director Makoto Shinkai, comes a beautiful animated film about time, fate, and true love. I’ve never been a huge Anime fan so just drawing me in became more challenging. I have nothing against them. I can’t say I’ve ever really given them a chance. Perhaps I will have to but I would say to those of you who don’t like Anime, give this movie a shot. It’s beautifully created and the story is as complex as any great love story of our time. 

Your Name begins with the story of the day the stars fell (a meteor shower created from the broken fragments of a comet), when the lives of two teenagers were forever altered.  Mitsuha and Taki are complete strangers living separate lives; Taki in Tokyo and Mitsuha in a small mountain town. Then one night as they sleep, they switch places. Mitsuha in Taki's body (something is in there), and he in hers (boobs and all). At first neither realizes this is actually happening. They pass it off as a bizarre dream but soon their personalities in each other’s lives begins to disrupt their set ways of life.  These bizarre occurrences happen randomly, and the two begin to adjust their lives around each other (leaving notes and journal entries to warn/tell the other person the goings on in their respective days). As annoying as it may seem, somehow, it works for them.  They build a connection and more importantly, an imprint on each other that reaches throughout the whole of the universe to bring them together. Then one day it is gone and Taki becomes haunted by what could have happened to cause their connection to vanish. Soon he begins to search for Mitsuha but his memories of her are fading (as all dreams seem to) and he has to wonder if it all was a dream.

You begin this review with a simple question. If you (as a guy or girl) woke up with the opposite parts in another room, how would you take it? I’d probably spend my day staring at myself in the mirror. I mean how often do you have a situation like this? Yet it says something to Taki’s ability to respect his counterparts body beyond an obligatory boob grab which is probably very confusing. That’s what makes this movie a serious love story and not a animeporn version of Freaky Friday. Taki and Mitsuha respect each other and want the very best for each other. It’s what love is all about. I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak on love. The idea of a soulmate is often a laughable idea. That one person is meant to be with you is looked at with derision. Mostly because no one wants to limit themselves to one person but for those of us (and I do consider myself one of them) who has been with their soulmate, it is anything but limiting. A soulmate is just that one person that makes you feel that no matter what, they get you. It’s not about limiting but about being the most complete you. A good romantic movie makes you feel that they are not the only one for you but the most complete version of someone for you. That’s where Your Name succeeds. You root for these two and they don’t cheap out on you. They earn their love story and through a complex set of circumstances proves the power true love has. As one of my favorite movies of all time, Sing Street says “from the day I started crawling, I was on my way to you.” When you love absolutely, that’s how it feels.

Mr. Unhappy sez: I’ve lived a life where my belief on love is challenged to say the least. Movies like this make me feel hopeful… and that’s something.

Octosexual fun

Going In Style

There are movies for every age group. The Exotic Marigold Hotel is not a movie made for a teenager unless said teenager has a crush on Judi Dench and who wouldn’t? Saucy minx. I bet she gums with the best of them... this review is getting off to an odd octoerotic start. What I mean to say is that there are movies made for young kids, teenagers, young adults, adults, and old people. Going in Style is one of the last group. Starring Michael “The size of a tangerine” Caine, Morgan “Used to call me crazy Joe, now they can call me Batman” Freeman and Alan “My Son is Adam” Arkin (I’d say more about him but I’ve never really seen him in a quotable role) as a group of friends who’ve been together for years through everything. Now they are at financial crises and resort to robbing a bank (a corrupt and ethically dubious bank).

There isn’t a lot more plot to this movie. Old men are broke, man witnesses a bank robbery, man is screwed out of pension and home, man enlists friends to rob bank... I’m reasonably sure you can finish that breakdown. It isn’t the most intricate of plots. The true greatness is in the performances and the jokes about old men. That’s really all there is. Michael Caine is good not fantastic... it’s no Alfred. Morgan Freeman is good but at this point I think he just plays Morgan Freeman and if the director asks him to do something he does it again...as Morgan Freeman. Alan Arkin is grumpy and outraged. 

The film is directed by Zack Braff. I can’t say it has the same feel as Garden State but again, he isn’t going out trying to make a movie for his age bracket. It’s The Grand Marigold Something’s Gotta Give bank robbery movie. It checks the boxes. It’s fun, it makes you laugh, you like the characters and hate the bank manager. It’s movie by numbers and will probably do well. I liked the idea of it well enough to spend my money on it and I didn’t feel I got ripped off. I also didn’t feel I got a game changer of a movie. It was.

Mr. Unhappy Sez: In the world of old and young, this movie comes in at meh...

Stream this movie Instead

Garden State

Zach Braff was coming out of Scrubs and feeling like a bad ass when he directed this indie gem. Natalie Portman is a troubled but normal girl and Zach Braff was a depressed manchild looking for his feelings in a over medicated world. When Braff’s mother dies, he returns home for the funeral and meets Portman. A weekend ensues that bonds them together (forever? Who knows?) This movie is a absolute masterpiece and one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s charming and smart while straddling the line between romantic and serious as well. The very real chemistry between Braff and Portman makes the movie as much as the story does. If you want a great film that takes you through life of a twenty something man trying to find himself Garden State delivers. The great musical choices move the plot along and create atmosphere while defining this movie for a generation. If you want to see a movie where Zach Braff achieves his goals and surpasses expectations this is it. To quote Method Man.... Who just saw some titties?! Ok so everybody calm the fuck down!

Mr Unhappy sez: I didn’t need to say that last bit...but I wanted to.

White People....am I right?

Get Out

 

 Going into this movie I knew very little about what it means to be an African American in a white world. Let’s face it, I’m mayonnaise. White, fatty and found disgusting by 45 percent of the population.  The movie, written and directed by Jordan Peele is a masterful, suspense filled delight (for a horror fan). It is also a political film and an appropriate film for our nation at this moment when white nationalism is on the rise and our rhubarb in chief sitting in the oval office blaming the darker races daily. I’m not going to get too political and just stick with the plot of the movie which is good enough. Yet you should keep in mind what this film says about our country and the very real racial divide in the country. I know, from my side, as mayonnaise, I never understood the general uncomfortable and annoying way we talk to each other. I would’ve voted for Obama for a third term (I’d have voted for a third grader with developmental issues over Trump) but that may not be the first thing I should say to a black man to show how not racist I am. Trying that hard may just mean that there is something in you that is as uncomfortable with a black man as he is with having that awkward forced contact with you.

Get Out opens with a black man walking in an upscale neighborhood talking on the phone with his girlfriend. A white car appears and pulls up beside him. Oh, they are going to ask for directions you might ask? Nope…a masked man appears and chokes the man out and throws him into his car.  Immediately I am drawn into the film and told that I need to be aware of everything. We meet Chris (Daniel Kaluuya), a young up and coming African American photographer who is dating Rose (Allison Williams) and they are going upstate to her parents house. Chris is understandably nervous about meeting her parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) and is quite aware the problems a black man might have with meeting his girlfriends two upper class white WASP parents. Williams and Kaluuya are great together and you can see the chemistry between the two is electric. Chris is played as a wise man who grew up too early in life and has the sense to worry what her parents will think but you can also see Rose's side. There is no need to be worried and yet Chris is right. It wouldn't be because of racism but because they are unaware.   

Get Out is the type of horror movie where atmosphere is everything. All of the actors are smart, capable people and no one doesn’t belong. Chris is as smart and charming as anyone in the film. And yet there is just a presence of menace surrounding the private and massive estate. Missy and Dean are nice and accepting but are they too nice or too accepting. Nothing seems out of place in this house or this trip but it keeps you squirming in your seat and constantly wanting to just get Chris out of this situation although you really never know why.  From the opening moment Jordan Peele creates a mood, constantly pushing you further and more uncomfortably towards the knowledge that not everything is kosher in the Armitage household. It reminds me a lot of The Blair Witch Project and I know what you are thinking but that movie is scary…the first time you see it. After repeated viewings and multiple spoofs, it is less so but I  remember that first time. When I left the theater I just felt numb and drained.  As though I spent the last hour and a half wandering the woods being chased by an unseen witch.

I felt the same way with Get Out. The film builds the fear in you as Chris feels it. You are so a part of Chris that you feel everything he does. Somewhere along the way you put yourself in his shoes and it opens your eyes. The fear in meeting Rose’s parents, the trauma of his early life, being stuck at a party where you know no one and everyone is very nice but slightly off putting. Wanting to leave but not wanting to ruin this romance based on nothing but your own fear. Innocent moments fill you with dread.  You follow this man into the horror as though you were threatened. 

I don’t want to make this in an “all white people are the devil” movie but these specific white people are evil and we need to be aware that this is a fantastical story but the emotions and feelings aren't fantastical. People like this (maybe not exactly like this) exist and this casual racism is just as insidious (in this case very insidious) as overt racism. The movie doesn’t make decisions for you but let’s you follow. It doesn’t preach to you but delivers the story and lets you feel what you feel. It’s a superb and smart film that does the very best of what horror can do. It reframes a message through the horror seen on the screen. There is not one sour note in Get Out.  It is real…and uses the horror of everyday life play with your mind. Stephen King once wrote that there are two types of horror. The deep, emotional menace from creating an atmosphere of menace or the gross out. You can make an effective movie of the gross out (Saw, Hostel, Cabin Fever or Last House on The Left) but true horror is always scarier. Slow building terror will always affect the viewer/reader more. The best bogeyman is the one you never see coming but feel. Get Out is this latter type. It’s a masterpiece of storytelling and the best horror movie in years. So in conclusion….

Mr. Unhappy sez: See Get Out if you have the chance. It may be a horror movie but it’s also just a great film.

Streaming Movie of the Week

They Live

John Carpenter is a master of horror. I love all of his movies and like the above film you can feel the movie. The Thing, Halloween, Escape From New York…they all show our world but twisted. His films are the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits. They Live is the story of a drifter who finds himself in the middle of a conspiracy to keep the human race asleep through subliminal messages. Nada is an every man who works hard and keeps his head down. Aliens have infected our world and are keeping everyone in the dark as they steal our freedom and keep us down. As Nada learns the truth he decides to fight back and open the eyes of the world. They Live is a movie with far reaching notions about the ruling class and government as a whole. It gives you a look at a world where we stop holding our leaders responsible and just allow injustice after injustice because it isn't our problem. A relevant movie for our current world. Donald Trump may not be an alien in disguise but he is potentially very dangerous. We as a society must fight back against him and his like.  We must fight back even if it is inconvenient. Nada says at one point that he has “come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m alllllll out of bubblegum.” Republicans and our orange Fuhrer should beware. The American people are  running out of bubblegum.

Stream it on Amazon or Comcast On Demand.