Quick Hits: The
problem with blogging…
So
I am out with my friend Teresa last night and she starts telling me that I
don’t blog enough. I know I don’t but I have a full time job and a bit of a
laziness problem. It is quite annoying to start a blog and then halfway through
typing my thoughts someone comes into the store. Not to mention blogger is
making it slightly more difficult. Why can’t I copy and paste from word without
it making my font bigger or moving paragraphs around in my blog or creating
huge white blocks of text. It is
frustrating so I go to movies and watch them, thinking I can do some hardcore
blogging on that one! Next thing I know it is three weeks from when I saw
it. I’m not infallible and Mr. Unhappy
is far from a perfect blogger but I do at least want to put a little effort
into it and don’t just want to throw up some piece of garbage. She brought up
the idea of allowing her and my hetero life mate, Talky Phil do blog entries
and that may happen. Yet that hasn’t happened yet and so if I have more than
one reader on this thing, you should know what comes next. I’ve seen multiple
movies (the top 4 of this past weekend) and I want to give you reviews of all
of them without writing a 60 page novella. Yes…I know…it is exciting isn’t
it….QUICK HITS y’alllllllll!
The Amazing Spider-man
There
was always something about the way Tobey Maguire embodied Peter Parker that
bothered me. He was a very good nerd and a great Spidey but I look at Andrew
Garfield’s take on the skinny web slinger and I finally think they have
captured what I wanted. Tobey always felt like the cartoon show Spidey I
watched as a kid. He was safe, innocent and had no real inner demons. This
Spidey is darker and isolated. He is the Goth kid of Spider-man’s. Perhaps that
role should better fit Bruce Wayne and the Bat but Spider-man has dark moments
too. Still in the reboot, Aunt May (a younger more hip Aunt May played by Sally
Field) and Uncle Ben, a bombshell love interest (Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy) and
Rhys Ifans as the Lizard. He is a good villain and tests the limits of Peter’s
spider abilities. Added are a good back story to explain why Peter moved in
with Aunt May and Uncle Ben in the first place, The aforementioned Gwen Stacy/
Captain Stacy (Denis Leary) story which is a much stronger starting point than
the Mary Jane saga, a hipper Peter Parker (still awkward and nerdy but with a
cool punk vibe) and the much better mechanical web slingers. Something about
that jizz perma-stuck to Spidey’s wrist never made sense to me. Now Peter’s
brain and intelligence are part of the character. This movie’s strength is its
characters. Peter is fully formed, Dr. Curt Connors is well intentioned but
ultimately doomed, Gwen Stacy is a great match to Peter’s intelligence and a
much truer partner than Mary Jane could ever scream her way into, and Uncle Ben
is not a caricature but a real man who can give the shove to Spidey to be the
hero he needs to be. I don’t think this movie is perfect. The suit is a bit
off. How many people need to see Spidey’s face before he just gives up the mask
all together? Why do all the crane operators in New York hang out well into the
evening? Why does Gwen accept that Peter
is Spider-man and not try to dissuade him at all. I don’t know that I would necessarily want to be the
love interest of a super-hero. Them bitches get messed up all the time and fans
of the comics know that Gwen Stacy doesn’t have a happy ending (although the
movie gives away none of that.)
Mr. Unhappy Sez: Overall I liked the story and wished it were not in the same summer as The Dark Knight Rises so it would not have to be compared to The Batman’s final act or The Avenger’s awesome Beginning. Yet even so, this movie holds it’s own and for that, I’d tell you to fork over the 10.00 dollars. Still see no reason to see it in 3-D.
Ted
I can see how this movie could
have gone terribly terribly wrong. It had a chance to be the UHF of the summer.
A good movie but stuck between The Avengers and The Batman. Ted is not UHF
though. It is a genuinely good movie with heart, disgusting humor and some
smart casting. Ted is voiced by Peter Griffin himself, Seth MacFarlane and he
is just as obnoxious and hilarious as his Quahog counterpart. He is a teddy
bear brought to life by a young boy’s wish and now 20 years later is a pot
smoking, foulmouthed, a-hole who keeps his now grown owner (Mark Wahlberg ) from
really moving on with his life. Seriously though, this kid goes from a loser
kid to Mark Wahlberg? How does this happen? Is this kid full of grantable
wishes? Yet Wahlberg’s John is stuck in a crappy job and in a rut with his
girlfriend Lori who wants more than John can give, especially when Ted is
around. The central story seems to balance on this question: When does magic
stop being cool and start being really annoying and childish? Ted is a series
of misadventures and doesn’t pull any punches. From Doing cocaine with a broken
down actor who once played Flash Gordon to Giovanni Ribisi creepily dancing to
80’s pop icon Tiffany. Ted is a movie of pushing the boundary of good taste and
yet it has a kind of soft underbelly. Like Ted is getting older and frayed, the
story itself has rough spots and moments of real genius. This movie is smart
and funny and the perfect remedy for summer movies that go too big. This movie
often goes too far but never with a glut of explosions and slo-mo action poses.
Mr. Unhappy Sez: The movie has smiles, laughs and a few moments
of actual sentiment. There is also anti-semitism, fat jokes, and a stuffed bear banging a girl… sounds like a
winner to me.
Brave
I can honestly say that going
into Brave I didn’t expect to find much other than a reminder of the one who
got away. I like Disney/Pixar movies but I don’t fawn over them like they are
the next coming of Christ or something. Pixar is the best animation going. Just
like when I was a kid and Disney was the best we had. Sure there was Looney
Tunes and some other half assed attempts but when you wanted to see a hot
mermaid belt out a song or a beauty dancing with a beast, you turned to Disney
and Brave is a good addition to the Disney Library. It is another great visual
movie, with a great message and a slightly predictable story (for an old fogey
like me). The story revolves around Merida, the first borne daughter of King
Fergus and Queen Elinor. Her father has always wanted nothing but the best for
his daughter and raises her as though she were his son. She is a crack shot
with a bow and loves to do all the dangerous activities she can come up with.
Merida’s mother, the queen, has always tried to refine Merida and the
relationship between them has suffered as Merida has grown. When Merida goes
against the custom of the land and proclaims she will not marry, indeed competing
for her own hand, she causes such outrage that the clans her father rules could
revolt and war is eminent. Merida runs away and makes a wish to change her
mother’s mind and in the way of all wishes, something goes a little wonky in
the translation. Merida’s mother is turned into a bear and given King Fergus’s
severe dislike of bears (as one ate his leg), Merida needs to figure out how to
fix what she has done. The story goes a predictable route and for kids, I can
see this story inspiring. That is not to say there is nothing for adults. The
movie is beautiful and does preach a lesson that I think is valuable for mothers,
daughters, fathers and sons. Communicate
with one another, no matter what obstacles. Hell, that is a lesson for
everyone.
Mr. Unhappy sez: It is not a
perfect movie but it has a charm and look that makes it worthwhile and
enjoyable. If you love Pixar you won’t be disappointed and if you don’t love
Pixar, why are you looking at a review of Brave?
Savages
Just because I am writing this
review doesn’t mean I am happy having seen this movie. Savages is a story about
drugs, life, love and the power of money. Ben (Aaron Johnson/Kick-Ass) and Chon
(Taylor Kitsch/ Tim Riggins) operate a successful and profitable business
selling Marijuana to the residents of Los Angeles. The Mexican Cartel, lead by
the ruthless Elena (Salma Hayek), tries to incorporate them and gain access to
their weed (it is 33% THC, which I assume is good) and they politely
refuse. Elena is not pleased by this and
tells her hitman, Lado (Benicio Del Toro), to kidnap Ben and Chon’s girlfriend
Ophelia. (Blake Lively who also serves as narrator) and hold her hostage for a
year while Ben and Chon learn to cooperate. The story then spirals into various
raids and double crosses until the bloody near conclusion. I don’t dislike the
movie but I thought there was going to be a lot more to this film. Oliver Stone
has consistently failed me as a filmmaker, from Natural Born Killers to Any
Given Sunday to Savages. I have just never seen a Oliver Stone movie that blew
my mind. Nor do I really want to. That is not to say that this movie does not
have merit or is simply awful. The actors came to play and the story is
entertaining if not annoying. Blake Lively shows she has a lot more to offer as
an actress and Taylor Kitsch plays the ex-navy seal Tim Riggins, I mean Chon,
as a smart violent man who knows how the world works. At least he knows the
world of drug dealers and killers. Me, I don’t get shot at and I don’t stab
Federal Agents though many times I’ve thought I might stab John Travolta. I also wish that the movie had offered up some
sort of conclusion. I don’t care what it is, just pick something. I want to
feel as though the ride is over.
Mr. Unhappy Sez: Worth seeing
when it comes to Netflix or Instant Watch and it isn’t a bad or poorly done
movie. It is just not special and it could have been.
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