Kidnapping for dummies...

I've held a belief that movies can heal most anything. When I am sick, I want nothing more than to curl up and watch a movie. When I am lonely I watch a movie. When I am happy, the movies can keep my attitude moving in the right direction. I remember in the pilot of Dawson's Creek (written by my screenwriting twin brother Kevin Williamson) Dawson explained to Jen (Michelle Williams) that the answer to all life problems can be solved through the movies of Steven Spielberg. While I don't have an unabashed love of the berg...I do think the premise is valid. I live it. I've gotten through losing a job, losing a girlfriend, having a bad day or just needing to hide through the flickering motion pictures of my lifetime. With Netflix it is now easier to find the movies you need at the palm of your hands. Lost your lady or manly love? Ooooo here is a movie that shows you that losing the person you think you should be with can lead to the person you are destined to be with. Need to blow off some steam? Here's an action movie that has a higher body count than most horror movies. Want to see some popular kids get slapped around and murdered by a psychopath in a hockey mask? Here's Jason. Sometimes you just need to stop livin and get to relaxin. You can't fall into the black hole of despair if your friends Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan. Find your inner movie character and enjoy living through their somewhat improbable stories. That's your homework. 

To help, here are some good movies streaming on Netflix....

Suicide Kings

I owe the enjoyment of this movie to a co-worker who came in and told me to see it. His name was Eric Smith. I remember seeing this the first time and subsequently every other time I've shown this movie to someone, they have all had a similar reaction. Oh these guys are fucking dead. Suicide Kings is the story of four friends who, when one of their sisters is kidnapped, come up with the plan to kidnap a retired mobster (played with zeal by Christopher Walken) and have him pay the ransom. Whatever happens to her, happens to him. Oh...these guys are fucking dead. Jay Mohr, Eliot from E.T., Leonard from Big Bang Theory and Sean Patrick Flannery are the guys who are fucking dead. This is one of those movies where you watch just to see what happens. Will Ira (Johnny Galecki) survive because he is the man? Will Denis Leary's bodyguard find the hapless kidnappers and get the sister back? Will Walken turn four lifelong friends on each other? That's the key to this movie. The general power of Walken's character to assess the situation and turn it to his advantage. He is cordial and sweet, flattering them while always being that one step ahead of his captors. This is one of the rare breed of movies that keeps you guessing and cheering throughout. Don't let this pass you by. It is one of my favorite movies of all time. Just a great movie.

Mr. Unhappy Sez: It's worth watching just for the running commentary on fish boots. 

Unbreakable

Do you remember when a movie by M. Night Shyamalan meant that you would be an instant "Oh take my money!" moment? No? I agree that the Happening was strangely awkward and just lame (cue Mark Wahlberg's "What...no?") and The Lady in the Water was an overstuffed movie with too much involved to be taken seriously. Don't even get me started on Airbending or After Earth...the latter seemed to spend a lot of time distancing itself from M. Night. If you want to see solid promising film making and the slow burn moody suspense that he originally brought us, see The Sixth Sense (I see dead people...), Signs (Swing away, Merle) and to a lesser extent The Village (there are no memorable quotes but seeing Bryce Dallas Howard stumble around the woods as a blind girl is worth it for the most part). Those movies set forth a premise and slowly built to a moment where you were both surprised and happy with the resolution. People will complain about Signs and the resolution but seriously the same issue is true in any alien movie. War of the Worlds, Independence Day are full of "Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me..." moments. Still, the movies were great. His second movie, Unbreakable falls into this great stream of movies. After Sixth Sense and before Signs when he wasn't quite the douche bag he would become. It stars Bruce Willis as the lone survivor of a train crash who emerged from the wreck uninjured. Throughout the movie which deals with lost love, family, comics, the hero and the villain, we are drawn through the path Willis takes to becoming a hero that can do real good in the world. It is a story for the comic book geek in me and made me love the super hero story again after the debacle of Batman and Robin. It was a movie that I would dare say was a precursor to The Dark Knight Trilogy of movies that too the world of super heroes and brought it into reality.

Mr. Unhappy sez: I know that recommending a M. Night Shyamalan movie is risky. I'm not worried. If you don't like this one, I don't wanna know you.

 

Hitch

 

My first two movies were mostly made for guys and don't give you too many warm and fuzzy moments. I mean Denis Leary with the toaster in Suicide Kings gives me goosebumps but not for the reason you think. So I've lightened the mood a little and am gonna give you Hitch. Kevin James and Will Smith star in this romantic comedy as a romantic loser (James) and the date guru (Smith) who helps him land the woman of his dreams by breaking through all the bullshit that women put in their way to rule out matches quickly based on superficial and sometimes insane reasons. Eva Mendes stars as a reporter who is cynical and doubtful of love who catches Hitch's eye and shows that even the smoothest of operators is quickly undone by the woman of his dreams. It's hard to try not to mess up a relationship. Take it from me who has ruined more love than given it.  Hitch is a smart movie that starts one way and ends in a completely different spot. Is the dating consultant the reason these people fell in love? Or was he just a catalyst to get two people that belong together to see one another. I am constantly left smiling when watching this movie. It gives me faith in love and humanity. It makes sense and also is just damn entertaining. What more do you want? A cookie?

Mr. Unhappy sez: This is a fun, engaging romantic movie. Watch it with someone you love or like me, think about that girl you still have feelings for but aren't allowed to speak of. It can give you hope, which is dangerous and well hopeful.

Down To You

 

 

This is not a good movie. I left that in bold to give you a warning that this movie will most likely give you a headache of ridiculousness. Freddie Prinze Jr and Julia Stiles are not the best story of love ever but for some reason I like it. It has a message of desperation and need that leads me to believe that sometimes fighting for what you want is what you need to do. In many ways this is a story of two vastly different people who fall in love and then struggle to maintain it. Freddie is a producer for his TV cook dad (this was big in the 90's) and Julia Stiles is Imogen, the hippie girl who steals his heart. What I enjoy is that the movie doesn't gloss over what it takes to make things last. My one major complaint about the expectations people have of falling in love is that trouble never happens. That the person you love doesn't drive you slightly mad. Love is madness. Who would sign up for this disease that can both make you happy and drop you to the depths of despair when getting out of bed is seemingly impossible if they had a choice? The lesson learned is that you can't control love. Sometimes you just have to go for it and commit to it and hope that the person you're with makes that same decision. Sometimes you win and sometimes (like me) you lose and sit around wondering what could have been smelling her shampoo (not so much like me) until it just about drives you mad. Moving on is what everyone tells you to do. Sometimes (and this movie tells this side of the story) you just have to hope that the decision you made to love someone isn't gonna change regardless of who you sleep with or try to move on with. Sometimes it comes (quite cheesily) down to them. That's the truth.

Mr. Unhappy sez: Don't be fooled, this movie is cheesy and overwrought but sometimes life gives you a need and this movie fulfills that need. That and an appreciation for Barry White and women's shampoo.