Hooking up with my mom..

I was 15 when my mother died. I was not quite ready for that to happen but are you really ever ready? She was a great lady and every time I doubt that being a nice person is worth something, I think of her. She was the most kind, loving, sweet and coolest Mom in Mom history. I’m not gonna get into a pissing contest with you on that last statement but I know that in just 15 years, she shaped my life and the man I am now. I miss her daily. I wonder if I would have the abandonment issues I have if she was still here or if I wouldn’t be deathly afraid of doctors and hospitals if she was still here. At 34, I still occasionally have a dream where she was not dead and it was all a mistake so I was able to hug her one last time, talk with her one last time, and go to a movie with her one last time.

I came across the movie Hook tonight and I was reminded of her again. This movie still provides me with the clearest memory I have of her. I sat in the theater watching Robin Williams become Peter Pan before my eyes and Dustin Hoffman disappear into Captain Hook. I remember laughing and loving every minute of it. It concluded with us leaving the theater into the bright afternoon sun and my mother realizing that at some point in the movie, her watch had stopped. If you’ve seen Hook, clocks are no longer allowed in Neverland since that tick tock croc ate Hook’s hand. I remember thinking it quite amazing that my mother’s watch had stopped. It was the first time that a movie reached through the screen and grabbed me. My mother might have stopped her own watch but for that brief moment she gave me my first taste of the sense of wonder and emotional connection to movies that I have carried with me throughout my adult life.

It is with the in mind that I add the movie Hook to the Unhappy Hall Of Fame with the addendum that as long as I remember this movie, I will forever remember my mother and thus keep her alive in my heart. I love you Mom.
 

Hook

Peter Pan has been a classic character in literature, plays and movies forever. It is a story of a boy who doesn’t want to grow up and finds a way to make that happen. Through the eyes of Wendy, Michael, and John we see the amazing boy who chases his shadow into the Darling household and takes the children on fantastic journey to Neverland where they meet the Lost Boys and the villainous Captain Hook. The story captures the imagination. What child wouldn’t want to fly to a far off land, never grow up, and battle pirates? But we all grow up. Hook is the natural addition to the original stories which tells us the story of Peter Pan after he finally grows up and forgets Neverland. However Neverland doesn’t forget him.
 

Peter Banning, a perfectly cat Robin Williams, is a grown up in every sense of the word. He is a corporate lawyer so busy with his work that he is coasting through his children’s lives and ignoring his wife, Moira. He is five steps away from having a heart attack but doesn’t seem to care. He misses his daughter Maggie’s play and his son Jack’s baseball game. When he is around, his cell phone is attached to his ear and this is not in a bluetooth sort of way. This is a one generation past the Zach Morris cell phone. He is petrified of heights and forbids his children from doing anything dangerous. Work comes first in Banning's life and when we meet him,  he is an absent father and husband on the way to death or a divorce. The family is about to head off on a trip to England to visit Grannie Wendy (yep that Wendy). On the plane, Peter is white knuckled and petrified. They make it, despite Maggie drawing the plane crashing and everyone floating to safety but Peter. They make it to Granny Wendy's house and Peter, Moira, and Wendy head off to a dedication of a wing of the children’s hospital to Wendy who became quite the advocate for orphaned children, including Peter. While the adults are away at the dinner honoring Wendy, a mysterious force comes into the Darling home and takes the children. The adults return home to find the house trashed, the children missing and  a note from Captain Hook adorning the children’s bedroom door telling Peter that he needs to return to Neverland and retrieve his kids.

Wendy collapses at the strain and is bedridden calling for Peter. When he is there, she tells him the secret she's been hiding since he was an orphan in her care. Peter Banning is, in fact, Peter Pan. That is a hell of a thing to be told and Peter reacts as any adult would, he needs a drink. That's when Tinkerbell shows up (the remarkably enjoyable Julia Roberts) and takes him to Neverland. The best part of this movie is the Neverland sequences. The pirates seem dirty and freshly picked up at some scurvy ridden bar in the bad part of town. The lost boys live in a tree the Swiss Family Robinson would love. The waters are blue and the mermaids are well...the mermaids are a little treat for all the dad's who had to see the movie. It takes the better part of the second act for Peter to find his inner Pan and as he does, he finds that piece of himself that he lost. The part that never wanted to grow up. He begins to use his imagination, rediscovers his ability with a sword and challenges Rufio (the lost boy left in charge) for control of the Lost Boys. It isn't until Peter finds his happy thought and flies for the first time that Rufio finally realizes that he is the Pan. Peter is finally ready for a final battle between Peter Pan and Captain Hook with his children's lives on the line.

The overriding theme in this movie is to never forget what it means to be a child. While growing up is necessary and indeed inevitable, you still need to hang on to your youthful sense of adventure. When you become so wrapped up in being an adult, you lose that sense of wonder. That time when you built a fort in a bamboo bush and hid from your enemies or when you went off on your own for the first time on your bike and the world around your house still seemed so large and untamed. As you grow, the world opens to you but I miss those moments when I was a young child, playing baseball at the park with my brother, or having sword fights with my friends. Adventures are easy as a kid and as an adult you get so wrapped up in your own head that sometimes life passes you by.  I get why we need to grow up but if you completely give up the child like part of you, you stop living and to live is an awfully big adventure.

The Golden Unhappy Awards Hook Edition

Julia Roberts - The proof that the smaller you are, the cuter you get award. 

I have hated Julia Roberts since Pretty Woman. I don't get her "good looks" except that her mouth looks like it could swallow a watermelon...without cutting it. Julia's mouth is the fully dilated vagina of mouths. Yet as the tiny fairy Tinkerbell, she was downright precious. It furthers my theory that as you become proportionally  smaller you cuteness level increase. True story.

Dustin Hoffman - The invisibility cloak award for disappearing into a role.
I look at the roles I've seen Dustin Hoffman play and I've always thought they were all versions of himself. Even Rain Man was a little Dustin Hoffman if he really wanted to see The People's Court. Here, as Captain Hook, he is unrecognizable. 

Amber Scott - The daughter of Peter Pan grew up to be a hottie award.

The little girl who played Maggie Banning in Hook was an amazing find. She could act (reasonably well), was precious enough that you rooted for no harm to come to her and well she sang too. She sang so well that they had her come back for the Academy Awards and sing. She's done nothing since, unless she has a stage name now. Yet if you look at her IMDB page, you see the woman she grew up to be and may I just say,  she has a pants tightening effect on all guys who see her. See for yourself...

Damn.