A treatise on me sucking at blogging regularly
I’ve gone through fits of just not doing my job and failing to inform you of movies you should see. My last review about Sing Street was an attempt (while lame and horribly written) to tell you about the lost love of my life and now that I’ve for the most part decided that being with anyone else is tantamount to slamming my head against a wall to make myself smarter, I’m mostly free of the whiny narrator of the past few years. I’m hopeful that my life will influence my reviews because I think movies inform us about our lives. You can see yourself in any movie. I can relate to Moonlight, even though I am not a black gay teen because I can understand the loneliness and pain of not being able or allowed to be who you are. We can all relate to that.
And yet that may not be why I haven’t reviewed more in the past two years. Honestly who has the time? Amiright? I’m running a store full time, hanging out with my friends, watching TV, seeing movies and having dinner with my dad nightly. You just get worn out and oddly things that you love but require effort get thrown aside. There is also the fact that the girl I loved/love (depending on who you believe... apparently being in love with someone is only valid when they love you too) partially if not vaguely blamed my choice of moniker as a reason why I was apparently unhappy being with her.
And then there was my computer.
They call it a laptop. At 17 inches of computing power, it is awesome for watching TV and movies on. When it comes to putting that giant piece of machinery in your lap and writing a bad ass blog about how awesome this movie was, it becomes a slog. Plus having something called a smartphone makes it especially hard to write. All these distractions and all play makes work the dull boy... to paraphrase. So I went on Amazon and found a smaller yet still functional sized computer. Hopefully it will make this job easier.
I am trying to be a better man and a better critic. So I’m gonna try to restart this blog for the umpteenth time and do it on a more regular basis. I’ve seen a few new movies so I’m gonna do some smaller quick hits... Let’s get back on the bike and see what we can say about some of the fun little pieces of celluloid being projected in a movie theater near you. Although I think now movie theaters use more of a fancy DVD player... like Uber Blu-Ray or something.
Quick Hits
1. Kong - Skull Island
It’s a movie...about a giant monkey... we’ve been here before. And yet we haven’t. Skull Island takes place in the 1970’s pretty much as Vietnam was ending. A top secret mission is called on to map an uncharted island that is perpetually surrounded by a constant hurricane. A group of soldiers coming back from the war are diverted to Skull Island to protect and help the teams discover all they can about this island. Led by Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman and Tom Hiddleston they fly through the hurricane to arrive on the peaceful tropical paradise that is Skull Island. It isn’t long before the bombs they drop (to map the island through vibrations or something) attract the attention of the king... Kong.
The clever way they take the Giant Monkey and create sympathy without it being all about the way we treat Kong makes this movie worth the ride. 3D, as usual, is not necessary but available if you so desire. All the big names are amazing as always. It is told as a story of survival on an island filled with monsters, some human and some more creature feature. Kong is a hero and a protector. For the first time in big monkey feature films they treat Kong as the king and not a weak feeble monster. He’s a fully realized character and not the monster climbing the empire state building or world trade center. He’s a ruler, protecting all the people on the island regardless of their motivations.
Mr. Unhappy sez: One thing they don’t explain it how Kong lost his dong... but otherwise a fun adventure.
2. John Wick - Chapter 2
If you watched the original John Wick you know that he is thinking he’s back. In Chapter 2, he returns from avenging his puppy and car in the first movie to be drawn back in by a marker that got him out in the first place. The John Wick movies are about a man so scary and dangerous that the very thought of him coming to kill you might make you kill yourself. He’s the bogeyman and you really don’t want to piss him off.
John Wick isn’t a story so much as a continuation of the horror show that is the life of a professional bad ass. Mostly consisting of a lot of dead men with mohawks and full untrimmed beards. I’m not against a beard in general other than I can’t grow one without looking like a dead cat. You might call me Patches. But the beards are a full and manly variety here... so if that gets you moist... enjoy. I liked this movie, mostly because it’s not trying to be anything more than an action movie and cleverly choreographed fight sequences. One of my favorite scenes involves John Wick and an assassin trying to kill him trade silenced shots at each other in a crowded subway station. They are smart, capable and trained. John Wick is a character than can continue on for multiple chapters and never lose it’s freshness. Say that about most anything else.
Mr. Unhappy sez: Good deaths... smart killers... and a reverence to the story they tell. It’s not complex but it is layered.
3. Logan
It is here. Logan is a movie about an old man who wants nothing more than to protect the father figure he loves and live their lives. And he may want to die. This is not a normal X-Men movie... seeing Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier rant and swear is a sight not behold. Seeing Wolverine chop of limbs and fight his own nature is new and fresh. Since Deadpool we now know we can have an ultra violent and obscene superhero movie without losing that all important box office. Now doing it for no reason and not creating a story won’t work but if you cover those bases, fans will not dessert you because it’s rated R. Logan is just a good movie. The story of a man at the end of his life finding redemption for the horrors he’s committed and the life he’s led. It’s a story of a beaten broken man and finding a person and cause to fight for again.
Mr. Unhappy sez: It’s good and the Wolverine story you wished the first two movies were.
Streaming Movie of the Week
It Follows
It Follows is a redefining the genre type of movie. It is a story about a girl who has sex with a boy and then is stalked by a slowly walking killer who seems to come from nowhere and is pure unstoppable evil. Seen this before? No, you really haven’t. It follows succeeds because it takes the tropes of horror movies and uses them to it’s advantage. The leading girl survives because she is pure and therefore unpunishable for her sins... no Jay is a pretty and reasoned woman who falls for a guy and she has sex with him. That he gives her one hell of an STD is not her fault. It happens to her and she takes responsibility for it. The killer moves slowly and seems to always find the heroine? That’s the scary part. No matter where Jay runs all she is buying is time. It follows and never stops. Unless you pass it on. It follows is one of those movies which raises horror movies to a higher levels. It doesn’t try to be anything more than it is. It follows... and eventually it kills you. Personally I can’t see anything more frightening.
Mr. Unhappy Sez: It Follows is a rare movie that resets the bar. In the time to come, It Follows will be the movie that inspires new horror directors. Available for streaming on Netflix.
No comments:
Post a Comment