Megan/Sierra is Missing

Megan is Missing

Given the recent events in Morgan Hill I am reposting this review in hopes that some parents can watch this and scare the bejesus out of their teenagers regarding strangers. Teen Girls... Men are not your friend.  To watch is on Netflix, go here:

http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Megan_is_Missing/70175510?trkid=2361637

      I hate when I am looking through the countless new videos on Netflix Instant Watch and come across something that tickles me in a way I am not comfortable with. While being scared to see what this movie is about, the description seems to call out to the horror movie fan in me and I am helpless to not press the “add to instant queue” button to watch on some future date. I can only say that with some of the stuff coming out today, I am glad I am not the impressionable young kid I was when I first saw such campy horror movies as Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street. The current trend in horror is to make a movie that seems like it could be real, says it is real and then suckers you into believing that it is real although when you think about it as you are hiding under your blankets from the evil spirits trying to kill you that if this was real, the movie would not be able to show it.  Your logical mind can tell you all this and you will be able to tell yourself that it is true but when it is coming to the gruesome end, you begin to doubt it yourself. 

For weeks now I have been staring at the poster pic above for the movie “Megan is Missing” and wondering how well done the movie is. Do you believe it? Does it make you sad to watch the build up to what you assume is the end to two 14 year old girls? Why do I want to watch it? Will I feel like a accomplice in watching such a movie in which two girls are preyed upon by a skilled predator and then snuffed out of existence? They are missing. So why I clicked the button to watch the movie today I cannot really tell you. I wanted to see the movie, the premise was great but some part of my mind held me from watching it.  I think it may have been the part of me who wants to believe in the genuine good in people. After this, you doubt that.

“Megan is Missing” is a true story or so the director/writer Michael Goi would want you to believe. The story is compiled of video evidence, webcam chats, Iphone video chats, news reports and hand held videos made by and of two teens, both of whom will “go missing” weeks apart. Megan is a party girl and even at 14 she is a modern teen who has done and seen a lot. She's been molested, abused and has a contentious relationship with her mother. Her stepfather is in prison, maybe for molesting Megan, maybe not. That is not important. Despite her life, Megan is a straight A student, well liked and looking for a new start to her life after the trouble of before. Her best friend Amy on the other hand, is unpopular and seems to orbit Megan like she was the sun and Amy was the Earth. Megan lights up Amy and Amy in many ways brings out the best in Megan. As the two go to parties together and talk about boys and some of the things Megan has done, it is clear that Amy is the “good girl” of their pairing. She has a together if slightly absent family but loving. She is squeaky clean and counts Megan as her best friend when in fact she may have been her only friend. Megan’s friends don’t understand why Megan hangs out with Amy or why she keeps trying to include her in their life. Indeed, Amy does not fit the party girl lifestyle and seems awkward and alone for much of the movie.

Megan dreams of escaping her life and moving to Texas (not for any specific reason but because it seems far from L.A.). Amy plans to go with her and for a moment you believe that Megan going missing will simply be her and Amy running away. Then enters webcahtter Josh, who seems to be a great guy (aren't all the predators) who goes to the other school in town and skateboards behind the diner Megan and her friends frequent. He plans on meeting her at a party but when she shows up, Josh is not there. As a viewer you can test your "daddar" (or dad radar) by seeing if you feel there is something odd about Josh. His voice on the chat is both sinister and pleading. Both older than he says but still young enough to be plausible. Is he a boy who wants to be with Megan or is he a terrible predator? The dangers of the internet are all too real in Megan is Missing and could serve as a cautionary tale of what can happen in the the world where a 40 year old man can be 15 again. Yet, as a parent, you cannot watch everything your child does and while you may not want to ruin the innocence of your child’s lives, you need to prepare them for the real life predators out there. Chris Hanson is not gonna automatically come out wherever child molesters go and ask them what they are doing (as I secretly hoped he would do during the last 22 minutes). “Megan is Missing” is a lesson in parental absence. The parents are present in this movie but they are away from the danger, almost unheard, almost always blurry and out of focus. They are not a part of their lives as parents sometime become in the teen years. Amy’s parents may seem more involved but Dad is “not home much” but he is always there for all the important days like birthday and holidays.

Is “Megan is Missing” real? Not at all. If they say written and directed by, I doubt the sincerity of the movie. It could very well be based on real events. A story I heard from William H. Macy from the set of Fargo goes like this. He arrived on set and asked the Cohen Brothers for the actual case evidence because at the beginning of the script it says “This is a true story.” The Cohen Bothers laughed a bit and said “It’s not a true story, we made it up.” William H. Macy was dumbfounded and said “But it says at the beginning of the script that it is a true story.” They nodded and William H. Macy realized that the Cohen Brothers had indeed made up the entire movie including the “this is a true story” part. To which he said “You can’t do that.” and the Cohen’s said “Why not?”  It is a great question and one that I think applies to “Megan is Missing”. The story could be real. It is something, an urban legend of the technology generation, that someone has heard about it happening to a girl or girls in their school. Finding the actual Megan or Amy probably can’t be done but they certainly could be real girls who made a mistake and trusted a “Josh” who turned out to be a really bad guy. What makes this kind of movie effective is that while you are watching it do you believe it? I did. The “news footage” is a bit overdone and somewhat cheesy but you overlook it. Perhaps the most chilling scene (before the last 22 minutes which tested my tolerance for violence) is when Amy sits in her room, all alone, at night and “Josh” mocks her and tells her to shut her fat mouth. You can feel the isolation and complete fear that Amy has yet there is nothing she, a 14 year old, can do. She could tell her parents and they could call the police but who can stop a voice in a computer coming into your room and threatening you?

This movie, and I say this only hours after watching it, stays with you. I’ve told myself that it isn’t true. I’ve made my peace with the fact that the police probably aren’t as impotent to catch the predators out there. But this is one of the possibly the most horrific and truly scary films I’ve ever seen. Simply the fact that I know that “Josh” probably does exist can put that fear in me and that he could be a guy I met at work, or at a restaurant or in the line at the supermarket. Predators are everywhere and that scares the crap out of me. I can’t guarantee that this movie will affect you as it has me. Maybe you’ll think this is stupid but give it a shot. For what it is, Megan is Missing is a superb and disturbing movie. I bet most of you will have a “why is Mikey in corner?” moment from Blair Witch when you come upon Josh’s lair.   This movie scared and disturbed me and I mean that in a good way. After all, I signed up for it.

Mr. Unhappy sez: I’m not letting any daughter of mine on the internet or out of the house or out in public or near any men. 

Updated 3-29-12: Following the disappearance of Sierra LaMar in Morgan Hill, CA I am reminded of this movie. Megan is Missing, sticks with me to this day when the sight of a missing teenager taken from her webcam or phone, brings me right back to the blue barrel. <shiver> 

A Quick Hit on Elizabeth Olsen’s Boobs

     I’ve been silent for a few weeks now and I find myself terribly behind on the reviews I so want to do for you… my single and consistently disappointed reader or as I call you, Tom Cruise and your weird nipples. I know, I am obsessed with nipples. Most guys are. I’m actually watching the rifftrax of Top Gun right now and I’ll be damned if in that volleyball scene he doesn’t have the weird nipple thing too. Perhaps it is a Scientology thing. One thing I am absolutely sure of is that I’ve seen too many movies in a row to ever catch up. Not to mention that I really do want to let you know about most of the movies I saw. Some, like John Carter, I am less inclined to tell you about but I will. For the record, I didn’t find John Carter to be disappointing, just more of the same but we will get to that. So I have come to the conclusion that I just need to wrap it all into one Quick Hit on all the movies currently in theaters. That way I can go see the Hunger Games and review it without feeling guilty to you or Elizabeth Olsen (‘s boobs.)

John Carter

I like Taylor Kitsch. I mean, his characterization of a troubled teenage alcoholic fullback, Tim Riggins on TV’s Friday Night Lights is personally some of the best work on television in years. That and he is so dreamy. A lot has been said about John Carter and its massive failure at the box office and while I cannot see exactly how they spent 300 million dollars on it, it was an entertaining movie. I think what throws people off is that Taylor’s acting style of not caring/ lazy drawl makes people believe that there is no point in caring. The story of John Carter of Mars is engaging. A broken man goes to Mars, finds that he has super human abilities there and tries to save the planet, rebuilding his life and finding a new purpose. It’s a heroic journey. I liked the movie though I found it to be a little long. Nothing like sitting in a darkened movie theater watching a half naked man leap from place to place. Only one thing makes it better….boobs and not Taylor Kitsch’s massive man pecs either.

Mr. Unhappy sez: John Carter is an interesting movie with a horrible name. If they had gone with John Carter of Mars as they originally planned, perhaps Disney wouldn’t lose $250 million dollars on it.  For what it is, I liked the movie. For what it isn’t, I did not.

21 Jump Street

Now here is a movie that I did not see coming. I had seen the TV show and the best part about that was the addictive theme song. Even now, sitting in an office, I can scarcely afford to hum a few bars without knowing that I will be stuck with that song in my head the rest of the day. A year or so ago, I learned that a Jump Street movie was in the works. I shook my head but thought, if done right, it could be better than the show. When I finally saw the trailer a few months ago, I knew that it was going to be bad. Then I saw Roger Ebert’s review of the movie and to my utter shock, he liked it. For those of you, who do not know the story, Jump street is about a group of young looking cops who go undercover at schools to weed out the drug dealers and underage criminals. One thing I actually liked about this story was it was a tale of two different high school experiences. For Jonah Hill’s character Schmidt, his high school experience was the lowest point of his life. For Channing Tatum’s Jenko, high school was probably the high point of his life.  Now, what made Jenko popular in his high school, makes him hated at his new high school. In contrast, Schmidt finds that his brains, humor and personality make him cool. The movie works almost as a body switch comedy and both characters see the other’s life. There is no high brow humor at work in 21 Jump Street but there is a lot of very funny scenes. I found myself oddly pleased with 21 Jump Street.  Dave Franco (James Franco’s brother), the innocent good girl mixed up with the bad crowd (Brie Larson), Schmidt’s parents, and a great cameo from Johnny Depp as his original Jump Street character. Sometimes, you can look at a movie and see a pile of garbage and then when you sift through some of the awful marketing, you find that there is something hidden underneath.

Mr. Unhappy sez: We never thought that we'd find a place where we belong. Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall. Don't need permission to decide what you believe. I said jump, down on Jump Street. I said jump! Down on jump street... damn it now that's gonna be stuck in my head.

Friends…With Kids

Now here is a movie that spoke to me in ways I can’t really begin to explain. The story is about a group of friends and the last two single friends who are not married with kids, Jason and Julie. They are played by Adam Scott and writer/director Jennifer Westfeldt. There is something to be said for being in your 30’s, having no prospects of having a significant other, let alone having a child. So what do they decide to do? They decide to have a child together while keeping their relationship platonic, so they can avoid the toll kids can take on romantic relationships. And it works. Jason is happy as a dad, Julie is a great mom and their friends (all married and miserable) are pissed because it shouldn’t have worked. Of course, they are just kidding themselves and the end of this movie is not hard to guess. I think what makes this movie worth seeing and indeed a great movie is that the route it takes to getting to the love between these friends. Who could be better to fall in love with than your best friend? Of course it will work because these two know each other so well.  Yet it hurts so much more when your friend breaks your heart. I’ve been there and even a year later, I am still shook to my core that I could lose someone so important to me and I look at every other woman and cannot fathom putting myself out there for someone to hurt again. The great thing about Jason’s lifestyle is that he has one night stands and never opens himself to be hurt. The bad thing about Jason is that he has one night stands and never opens himself to be loved either. I’d like to say that this movie made me believe in love again but it doesn’t. It just tells me that in the movies, love cannot be beaten down no matter how hard you fight it. In life, it is all too easy.

Mr. Unhappy sez: This movie hit too close to home for me. Yet I still liked it. That has to say something doesn’t it.

Silent House

Now after that last depression filled review, I come to the very boobs that made this whole blog entry possible. It is also a hell of a great horror movie. The movie is about Sarah, a girl whose past has left her a bit of a shy person, who we meet as she walks from the beautiful seashore to a boarded up house, in need of a lot of repairs. The movie is shot in one sequence, never cutting and seemingly perma stuck to the massive cleavage of its star. She is in the house with her father and her Uncle Peter who want to pack up the family’s stuff and fix up the house to sell it.  After Uncle Peter leaves to go to town for supplies, Sarah hears some noises upstairs and her father goes to investigate. What follows is 80 minutes of terror, mostly Sarah’s. Elizabeth Olsen is creating quite a reel for herself. I haven’t seen but want to see “Martha, Marcy, May, Marlene” (for which she earned rave reviews) and now this movie which like Tom Hanks in Cast Away is completely dependent on Sarah as a character. If you don’t care if she lives, you don’t get into this movie. She runs, hides, is stalked by the things in this house. You aren’t sure what is real and what is created in Sarah’s mind. Since you are stuck with her, you believe most of what happens. Sarah is a typical horror movie scream queen. She runs upstairs when she should go out the front door. She screams and hides under the bed. She never seems to escape her tormentors and the movie is scary.  In true horror movie fashion, when she finally escapes the house, her Uncle Peter sees her running down the road and takes her back to the house. This is a yell at the screen horror movie. The phrase “What… where are you going?! Stupid.” Will probably come out of your mouth more than once and isn’t that great fun?

Mr. Unhappy sez: Don’t sleep on this movie. It is scary… how awesome Liz Olsen’s (yeah we are that close after this movie) cleavage truly is. 

      

Quick Hits: Coming Soon

Quick Hits:

Coming Soon…

No not that way… dirty mind…clean it up…Orbit Gum…

this title is ridiculously long aaaaaand…

I’m not sure if you saw it…

 but I dropped product placement in there too...

                I was lamenting the loneliness of an empty theater in my last blog entry and for that movie a raucous crowd is not only helpful but required. When you go into a party movie, you expect a certain amount of whooping it up (geez I sound old) what with the teenagers and their Hanson rock music (figured I might as well go for it if I am going to sound like a grandpa).  But the point is that with a movie like Project X, you need a crowd to feed off of and raise the fun of the movie. The Hangover is really rather depressing when you watch it by yourself…a wolf pack of one. Now this past Saturday, I braved the crowds to see the new movie Silent House with the better Olsen (not a twin) Elizabeth. The movie was only partially filled when the movie started and as the trailers began, an entire polka band began to stomp their way down the aisles looking for a seat. Mind you, there are 10-15 people total in the theater already. The movie trailers end and the movie begins with a wonderful shot of Elizabeth Olsen on a scenic rock formation and then two people come into frame and slide across the row of seats and one sits while the other stands there taking a fricking drink order. By the time this genius finally sat his worthless ass down; Elizabeth was cowering under a table in the house. What happened to lead us here?! Damn you and your need for soft drinks and nutter butters (trying to sound crotchety old man like is hard)!

                I bring this up for two reasons. One, the presence of this gentleman in the theater after the feature had begun took me out of the movie.  I don’t understand how difficult it is to get out of the house and get to a movie on time. Let’s say you have a choice between rushing out of the house at the last second and missing the first five minutes of a movie or taking your time and seeing a slightly later show. I, for one, would choose the latter. It is not a difficult thing to get ready to go to a movie. You don’t need to look pretty and let’s face it folks, slathering on a few pounds of makeup is not going to make you into Angelina and her twittering leg. Not to mention you are in the dark. Presentable is the maximum amount of effort you need to put into going to the movies. Wear sweatpants for crissakes! Not a night on the town. Also you are disturbing the movie and ruining it with your endless dance of this row…no this one. Pick a row, in a theater not filled to capacity it takes 10 seconds max.  Hey are these two seats empty and not directly next to someone. Good…sit. Not hard my friends.

 The second reason is that you ruin the movie for yourself. You rush to get out of the house, end up in line at the box office wishing just one of the group of 10 teenagers would figure out what they want to “see” before they sneak into the R rated movie with the boobies, and then you get into the movie late and have to leave so your wife/girlfriend can have some Goobers (I need to help prop up the Goobers industry lest they go out of business and deprive people of chocolate covered peanuts). When you come back, having found the snack bar completely devoid of Goobers and ended up getting Reese’s Pieces, the movie has been running for 15 minutes and you’ve missed most of Act 1! Why? I would love to propose that movie theaters impose an 8 minute late time limit. If you can’t arrive by that time when the trailers end, you should go to the next show. It is fair for you. Now unrushed, you can go to CVS and buy the elusive Goobers which will probably lead to a satisfied girlfriend/wife which leads to a satisfied you…or your penis. Not to mention that it would stop the endless procession of people who have no idea how to use their inside voices traipsing through the theater interrupting your enjoyment and raised eyebrow yes or no game on the movie trailers. Oh yeah and I wouldn’t have to kill you with a Goober! Yep folks, I am riding the Goober bandwagon into the ground.

Speaking of Trailers, I am now going to give you a quick eyebrow up (interested) or eyebrow down (unsure, not curious at all) about some of the movie previews on our screens today. Feel free to check them out on Youtube and tell me how much of an ass I am. It keeps me humble...

American Reunion

                Jim, Stifler, the kid from Rookie of the Year, Finch and the idiot one are back going to what has to be their 10th reunion. You don’t see much in this preview of a movie that most probably wouldn’t have been clamoring for in the first place. Yet there is something fascinating about the Pie movies. They hold a bit of your youth and a time when the height of humor was Jason Biggs making sweet love to his mother’s warm apple pie. I will definitely see this….if for nothing more than to see if Shannon Elizabeth’s enhanced bosom is still sitting high or is it dropping like it’s hot.

Mr. Unhappy sez: cocked eyebrow…and yes I did mean it that way. I need me some Orbitz.

Men in Black 3

                Yet another retread of an early 2000 movie franchise. Isn’t this movie like 5 years too late? Do people remember the original MIB or the hit song that scores it? All I remember from that time is Linda Fiorentino as a sex symbol (a stretch even in a movie about an aliens and rays that erase memories) and my friend Teresa running to the front of the theater to “bounce with it” as the credits rolled. Both memories make me shake my head. Yet they are back, Tommy Lee Jones as K gets the dust knocked off him and Will Smith comes back to play J with all his snarky one liners and general confusion. I think the really intriguing part is Josh Brolin as the young K. It is eerie how much he can sound like Tommy Lee Jones. It is as though he were training for this role. There is time travel, aliens, humor and probably a Willow/ Jaden Smith musical collaboration somewhere which Teresa can dance to. I’ll go.

Mr. Unhappy Sez: One eyebrow up, The Rock style.

The Cabin in the Woods

                While watching this preview I am drawn to this movie because it seems to both have horror movie clichés and turns those cliché’s on their head. I also enjoy the idea that this whole situation may be controlled by some evil filmmaker who wants to make a slasher movie by using real people. It also brings up the idea that other than Kevin Bacon and Johnny Depp, who else who has died in a horror movie has gone on to have a career? Maybe all these slasher movies are really just ways to get rid of pretty but not overly attractive actresses who have boobs but not much talent and their meathead boyfriends. I’m not saying, I am just saying.

Mr. Unhappy Sez: Eyebrow up with a nod. It’s on.

Lockout

              I’ve seen this movie before. Prison in an unlikely and cost prohibitive area, President’s daughter captured and held hostage, only one man for the job. Guy (literally Guy) breaks into prison and saves the President’s daughter. Is it just me or is this movie Escape from New York/ L.A. but done in space and with enough subtle changes that Vanilla Ice is the only one who sees the difference? Guy Pearce plays Snake…I mean Snow who goes aboard a space prison in which the inmates run the asylum. Donald Pleasance is played here by Lost’s Maggie Grace and she probably grabs a gun and over kills the Mansonesque guy whilst screaming “Ayyy! Number Onnee! You’re the Duke! You’re the duke!” Of course in this version he’ll be called the Earl or the Prince. It does appear like it will be a fun prison escape movie and who doesn't love those? Will I see it? Not sure but I think I’ve seen it already.

Mr. Unhappy sez: Eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I’ve paid for this before.

The Raven

                A madman is making Edgar Allen Poe’s worst come to life and the only man who can stop him is the master detective…Edgar Allen Poe. John Cusak plays the writer and seems to plunge headlong through the movie chasing a myseterious spectre who loves to make The Tell Tale Heart or The Pit and The Pendulum come to life. There seems to be a From Hell vibe throughout the movie. All I can say is that when Cusak speaks as Poe, I can see Edgar Allen Poe. When he begins yelling or screaming in anger…it is all Cusak. I’ve heard it in 1409, Identity, etc. So many things about this movie intrigue me, including what I call the “good death” factor but is it worth the 11.00 dollars? Also period pieces make my scrote hurt.

Mr. Unhappy Sez: To misuse a song from the John cusak classic, Better Off Dead: Everybody wants some (dead bodies!)…you want some too (dead bodies!). It was really that or "He has his testicles all over me (dead bodies!)." That seemed to Popeyesque and slightly sexually confusing. Cocked eyebrow.

The Three Stooges

                I have a hope that this may be the vehicle that makes Will Sasso a star. I tire of saying his name and having people stare at me like I just said the name of the guy down the street with all the cats. I fear it will not. It seems like a bunch of retread of original Three Stooges material except…wait for it…it is set in our time. It is a classic fish out of water story. Like when they made The Brady Bunch Movie or The Addams Family or The Mod Squad or countless other movies based on OK television programs.  I was mildly amused with the Three Stooges before. I fear now I will find nothing amusing. Moe with Snooki from Jersey Shore. Thanks…I’ve been waiting to laugh my colon off.  Oh wait, I confused your film with taking a crap. That routine, that stinky and that boring.

Mr. Unhappy sez: Eyes closed with a head shake. No sir, you fooled me with The Brady’s, you shall not fool me again... and that again is the Canadien “a – gain” not the American again.

And Finally…

Battleship

Quickest Hit Ever! Can someone get me some good scripts for Riggins from Friday Night Lights?!

Mr. Unhappy Sez: I’ll wait till the sequel when the aliens will slide down chutes and then climb mysterious ladders. Head shake no.

Up Next:

Silent House

Or

How I spent 90 minutes in Elizabeth Olsen's Cleavage

An Inadequate Project...and blog entry

Project X

                I am not a party animal.  I know how shocking this is because I seem so gregarious and outgoing from the confines behind the screen of a blog on movie reviews to movies I have mostly gone to by myself. It is shocking but as a teenager as I am as an adult, I am deathly afraid of making an ass out of myself at a party. So I cannot tell you stories from my red Solo cup or some story when the hottest girl in school vomited all over the prom king and he barely noticed. No, I have none of those stories in my repertoire because well I was a loner columbine eligible teen who people mostly stayed away from and therefore did not invite to their parties. As an adult, I am a guy who goes to parties under protest and barely ever because I actually want to. The best moment of a party for me is probably the quiet reflection when I don’t have to say anything and instead listen to the one girl at the party who does not shut up and secretly wonder what would need to happen to cause her to in fact go silent for five minutes. Don’t get me wrong I like people but I do not have any affinity for people who are the leading authority on everything or have a story about their cat that I have to hear. I am a miserable bastard who rarely is given cause to celebrate (the last time I wanted to celebrate, I wasn’t allowed to because I was a secret). Therefore I do not have any reason to want to see movies based on the very things I loathe. Still I go to most parties I am invited to because I am just anti-social enough to have friends.

                This whole diatribe on my anti-social behavior leads me to this week’s movie. Project X is yet another found film movie and thankfully they are attempting another genre than horror. The story is nothing new. A teen with very few friends wants to throw the party of all parties and win the heart/vagina of the hottest girl in school. Can’t Hardly Wait, Weird Science, Superbad and countless other movies have used this formula to great success. Project X is the first I can remember with the found/character filming the action movie formula. The movie is about Thomas, a kid who wants to be popular enough so people will know who he is. His best friend (and we all have a friend with more mouth than experiences) Costa wants to get laid and their “McLovin” sidekick, J.B. is looking to meet a classy woman. Even Thomas’ parents don’t think much of going out of town on their son’s birthday because well as his father says “He’s a loser.” And the party begins slow with the guys just sitting around the house, playing video games and complaining that their version of the party (debauchery galore) is never gonna happen. The Bouncy house will go unbounced in, the pool will not be the river of naked women and Costa will not get the sex he so desperately wants. Then the doorbell rings and what seems like the entire city of Pasadena shows up. The party is on. There is drinking, drugs, destruction of property (with flamethrowers) and nudity galore. It is a teenagers wet dream. At first Thomas is freaked out that his house is gonna get trashed (which it does in epic fashion) but after a few drinks, kissing his best girl friend and taking a little Ecstasy, he loosens up and his night really begins. From saving his dog from being ballooned away to a drug dealer with a flamethrower to the hottest girl in school giving him the hottest birthday present ever, the movie carries through what I am sure ends up being the best birthday Thomas ever has.

                I can’t really tell you what I thought about this movie because the showing I went to was empty save me and my imaginary friends. A movie like Project X is meant to be seen in a crowded theater where you can get the communal laugh and chuckle at the nudity and drug addled brains of the teenage protagonists. So I was left feeling underwhelmed, not through any fault of the movie but because there was no one to share the party with. It was an anti-social kid’s wet dream. Completely alone in a theater filled with a party all around you. Yet I felt lonely in the middle of a movie. So I would recommend the movie because even in my lonely, unhappy, creeping towards middle aged mood, I still laughed and enjoyed the experience. This is truly a party to behold. I would just recommend bringing a few people with you to join in the revelry.  This is a communal movie in which the whole group enjoys the movie because of who you are with, not necessarily the pictures on the screen. It really is a lot like a party.

Mr. Unhappy sez: See the movie and bring 4-5 of your friends. That way when you want to turn to someone and crack wise, you’ll find something better than an empty seat.

***

Because of the length and rather inadequate length of this blog entry I am gonna follow it up with a review of some of  upcoming movies. A movie trailer on the current movie trailers.



The Eyes Have It

Gone

                Creating a good mystery is a talent. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle did it many times and kept the audience guessing until the last few pages when the great detective Sherlock Holmes would wrap it up for the simpletons in a nice little bow. I don’t expect movies to do that to me. I am not easily fooled but sometimes a movie comes around that keeps me guessing. Ghost Rider – Spirit of Vengeance kept me guessing for the wrong reasons. I simply ask that you unravel a story before me. Not an intricate web of deceit that I need to watch 5 times to understand. They were dreaming in Inception, right? I do enjoy those movies too but on a trip to the local multiplex to see a movie, I don’t ask that every movie be the next Inception or Memento or Seven. All I ask is that you treat the story with respect and don’t expect me to believe a 90 pound little person killed a 500 pound guy and then hefted him up the stairs. Unless the name of the movie is MicroSuperman, I'm not buying it.  I have an old saying that applies to this. Don’t jerk me off then say I masturbated. It is a simple if not slightly gross way of saying, don’t tell me to believe something I know is patently false. So when I go to a movie that I want to thrill me with a good mystery, I don’t want to be let off the hook in the first 5 minutes by knowing that Little Mary was murdered by the creepy old man down the road. I want to wonder about him and think maybe he is a little rapey in the eyes but still have doubts until the climax of the movie when it is revealed that her swim coach who didn't look rapey at all killed Little Mary and Mr. Johnson down the block simply missed his own daughter who no longer speaks to him because she descended into a den of drugs after her swim coach showed her the breast stroke (wink wink nudge nudge). The punning has gone too far but the point is, I’m not asking for a lot folks. To quote Nirvana, “Here we are now, entertain us.”

                In Gone, Amanda Seyfried (her of the gigantic eyes) plays Jill Parrish, a woman who was attacked in her home, thrown down a hole in the woods and when she escaped her captor, was told that she had made the whole incident up in some sort of psychotic break. She now spends her days searching the woods around Portland, Oregon looking for the hole and perhaps even the killer. She can't sleep, lives with her alcoholic sister, and works nights at a diner to avoid sleeping during the night.  Then she comes home from work to find her sister missing. Jill is convinced that she was taken by the same man who took her in some attempt to lure Jill back to the hole from which she escaped. The police? Not so much. They think Jill has lost her mind again and when they find out she is carrying a gun, start to chase her. So this leaves Jill with no help and forced to find the killer herself before her sister is killed.  Now you have a mystery/thriller that consistently keeps you guessing. Is Jill crazy? Did her sister go off the wagon and is now sleeping off her alcoholic binge? Why is the detective played by Wes Bentley (the creepy guy who thought a plastic bag was beautiful in American Beauty) so keenly interested in Jill's story? Why is the rest of the police force so bent on believing that she is insane? Indeed, where is Jill’s sister? Did Jill kill her sister? All of these questions can be asked because of the way the story is crafted. There is a definite expiration date on Jill's sister. She will not survive the night if Jill cannot find her. Every near miss with the police or new clue from someone who knows the mysterious "Digger" leads the audience to hope she doesn't get caught.

 I’m a fan of Amanda Seyfried. She emotes well and is the type of actress that grabs the viewer (perhaps with those eyes) and brings you into the movie.  Indeed as we run down the rabbit hole with her, the movie becomes even darker and more nerve racking for the viewer where to urge her to go back and call the police.  Her desperation and belief that the killer has her sister pulls you back and forth convincing you that she is both insane and telling the truth. The evidence that she follows leads to many unsavory characters and unsettling moments where you await the killer to emerge behind her and grab her as she moves through his lair.  This suspense is all a credit to Seyfried who keeps Jill from being too insane but right on the line of rational to slightly nutty. Her supporting cast (Bentley, Sebastian Stan, the creepy Joel David Moore and Dexter's Jennifer Carpenter) help pull you back and forth between her  insanity or back towards the land of the relatively sane. In my last review, Nicholas Cage leapt right off the rope to insane in his role as Ghost Rider when more restraint would have been more compelling. Seyfried fights the inclination to play it completely insane and grounds Jill, playing her as a woman who was wronged both by the killer and the police.   

This film is far more of a Little Red Riding Hood tale than the actual Red Riding Hood that Amanda Seyfried made last year. I thought I had this movie figured out at numerous times but was wrong most of the time.  I know that half of you will claim that you weren’t surprised by the ending at all. I hate people like this. You claim that the most intricate of mysteries didn’t have you fooled as though to admit you were engaged in a movie makes you look stupid. I was convinced I knew who the killer was. I knew it in my bones and I was wrong. This movie may not be the next Silence of the Lambs or a Sherlock Holmes masterpiece but it is a compelling story. I rooted for Jill and hoped she would find her answers, if not to save her sister to save her own sanity. The dark brooding city of Portland offers a character in and of itself and the woods seem scary by their vastness. The movie is not perfect. There are flaws in general with the story but I found myself not caring about them and just accepting the flaws and moving on with Jill. When you allow that a movie is not perfect, you allow the movie to engage you. Give up you preconceptions and hopes for a perfect thriller and accept that Gone is simply a good story. It has flaws, as does any story but the flaws don’t take away your enjoyment of the movie, you do that to yourself.

Mr. Unhappy sez: This movie is probably “Gone” already from the multiplexes but I would definitely recommend it for a cold dark night when you want to snuggle with your wife…or girlfriend…or both. Of course, the last option means you soon may be “Gone” yourself.