Saturday, December 31, 2011

A Shower of Golden Dreams

1st Annual Golden Unhappy Faces Awards



The Best of 2011

The year is coming to a close tonight and as I will be too drunk or tired to write this after midnight, I will do my best to weave for you my best of list. I know that it is a tired fad but I swear that my list will not be the same let's love what everyone else loves because that is the same and sameness is awesome! I tried to avoid the obvious choice although I think they are the right choices regardless of what a naked golden man will say three months from now.  And now the first golden unhappy face goes to?

Best Movie of 2011

50/50 



This was a hard category for me but in the end the cancer comedrama starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, Seth Rogen and Twilight’s Anna Kendrick was by far my most enjoyable and the most complete movie I saw this year. The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was very competently done and The Adjustment Bureau made my heart go pitter patter but 50/50 took a subject that is not funny and made it humorous. It dealt with real life issues and was by far the best movie I saw this year.  It also proved to me that a one note character from Twilight can move onto bigger and better things. Kendrick was amazing as a psych student learning how to treat someone who in essence was given a death sentence. If you missed this movie in theaters, you best pick it up on Blu-Ray or (gasp) regular DVD.


Best Horror Movie of 2011

Insidious


With the disappointing Paranormal Activity 3, no new Saw movie and very few truly terrifying films, Insidious brought back the days of The Exorcist and The Omen. I felt as though I was transported to a seventies movie which had a big creepy old house, a young happy family that will soon be torn apart by a tragedy with supernatural aspects. It’s been said recently that the things that scare you the most are the things you cannot see. Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity are prime examples of this but Insidious lets me know is that the thing that scares me the most are things I see quickly, are smiling, and then disappear from sight but not the room. This movie is on Netflix Instant Watch for you brave enough to turn off the lights, snuggle up with your sweetie and clutch each other for support.


Best Action Movie of 2011

Fast Five


I didn’t want this to be a good movie if only because I do not want to support the career of Vin Diesel. Yet this movie delivered on all levels of action movie goodness. Sure it doesn’t have Bruce Willis jumping of Nakatomi Towers but few action movies do. Fast Five gives you what you want from a Fast movie, cars and pretty women bending over in awkward unnatural ways.  The Rock raised the tension as to whether the inevitable driving robbery would succeed as a tough as nails bounty hunter. I can’t say that Fast Five made me excited about the action genre again but it certainly made its own stamp on the genre. And in a year of 50,000 sequels this is the best as much as Transformers 3 is the worst.  


Best Drama of 2011

The Adjustment Bureau 



A definite contender for best picture of the year. I find it a bit of a travesty that it came out before March and therefore will be largely ignored by the Oscar race this year. Emily Blunt and Matt Damon both give stellar performances as people who fight the system of how life itself goes. I cannot say anything bad about this movie and the drama, sci-fi and spiritual things this movie delivers make you think about it for days afterward…hell months. I wish Hollywood would look at The Adjustment Bureau and realize that this is what a good movie is supposed to be. Emotional, smart, and engaging not explodey, cheesy and in slooooow moooootion.

Best Dark Comedy of 2011

The Beaver 



Given Mel Gibson’s year and recent divorce settlement, he needs to be thrown a bone. The Beaver is a depressing and sometimes downright suicidal movie but it has a heart and it speaks to you. Mel Gibson is great and shows that while he may be insane, he can still act. Playing a man who after attempting to take his life begins to talk to other people using a stuffed beaver puppet on his left hand is a challenge but Mel makes the character likable and the story of how he tries to get his family back is enjoyable. Is the premise weird? Yup. Does the Beaver make you smile and be less depressed? Yup.  Should you hold a movie responsible for the problems of the star? No. Go ahead and give it a chance. Mel Gibson might start the long road of winning you back and Jennifer Lawrence, Jodie Foster, and the rest of the cast will win you over.

Most Horrific Movie of 2011 

Megan is Missing


I wanted to give this the Best Horror Movie but this movie is more horrific than it is scary. This cautionary tale for parents everywhere made me curl up in bed with the covers up at my eyes, not wanting to look but unable to look away. This movie still gives me a chill as I pass it on my Netflix Instant Watch Queue.  This movie is simple and at sometimes poorly acted but the story crawls into you and then for 28 minutes at the end, grabs your heart and twists it. You feel culpable to these girls plight and you really don’t want to know what is in the large blue barrel. Don’t watch this alone and don’t think you’ll forget about it anytime soon.


Best Sappy Romantic Comedy of 2011

Crazy Stupid Love


I love this movie and it again was a candidate for Best Picture of the Year. Steve Carell stars as a middle age man, starting over meeting women and dealing with the very real loss of the love of his life. Not to death but to boredom and an extramarital affair. It is pitch perfect. Ryan Gosling is the Lothario playboy who takes Carell under his wing and helps him get laid. As far as romantic comedies go, this is the type to strive for. Not contrived bullshit but warm sentiment and a respect for love that is rarely shown. And seriously…Ryan Gosling does look photoshopped. 

Best Actress of 2011 

Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo



In the movie The Social Network, Rooney Mara takes a 5 minute scene in the movie and permeates throughout the rest of the film. In The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Rooney becomes the enigmatic Lisbeth Salander and creates a character so rich that the entire film is touched by her. Even scenes where she is not involved seem rich with Lisbeth's touch. The scenes she does appear in, many times naked, show the power and ability of a young actress becoming a great actress. We should expect nothing less of this actress in years to come. Long after the scars (literally) of this character are left behind on her resume, the rolse she will play will continue to amaze not because of the screenwriter or director but because of the passion and hard work of this actress. I expect a lot from Rooney Mara....don't let Mr. Unhappy down.


Best Looking Actress of 2011

My Girl Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen from Twilight)



In a world of Team Edward and Team Jacob I am firmly entrenched in Team Alice. Since the first moment she slow motion walked through the cafeteria of Forks High School, I was entranced with the smallest Cullen. Her beauty outside the Twilight universe is only magnified by her long flowing legs and well maintained physique which is obviously minimized by the Twilight films. I recently saw her on an episode of the TV show Pan Am. In that role, the classic beauty of Ashley Greene is accentuated and you feel drawn to her. At least I did...OK parts of me did....not the heady part or the chesty part either...the nether parts...OK I've said too much. All of this is brilliant but Ashley also seems more than willing to remove her clothes for roles, Sobe ads, whatever! Can’t ask for much more... can you? Here's hoping we see a lot more (subtext not subtle there is it?) of Ashley in the near future. You know before she starts sagging in places you shouldn't sag.  

Best Actor of 2011

Jonah Hill, Moneyball


Yeah I could have slobbed Brad Pitt’s knob on this movie and category too but Jonah Hill broadened his horizons in Moneyball and played a character that made the movie. Both funny but understated in his Moneyball role, he shows his range as an actor and makes you feel as though good things are to come in the future. Probably not the 21 Jump Street movie but after that. So yes, Brad Pitt was awesome in Moneyball but everybody and their shiny knobs love Pitt. I am giving Hill a little lovin. (This post is turning very gay…or is it just me?)



Best “For the Ladies” Actor of 2011

Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love


To keep with my kind of homosexual vibe in this post… Gosling was perfect as a ladies’ man who gets what he wants from women but who is blindsided by Emma Stone’s character and finds himself in new territory. The chemistry of Stone and Gosling and their back and forth about how a night with him usually goes leads to the aforementioned photoshopped abs and a call back to Dirty Dancing. You want to hate Ryan Gosling for being so pretty and yet, you just can’t. Oh yeah and ladies...you are welcome.


Mr. Unhappy sez: For Mr. Unhappy this year was up and down, much like movies. Sequels and remakes, Smurfs and originality. Mr. Unhappy sez that in this year, the movie world took a step back and only a few movies (see above) really worked to get me interested. For that...I thank them. 




Up Next: Worst of 2011

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